Life's Remains....

Today my secretary asked if she should start putting Haji before my name on the letters that I sign. I said, no... out of humility. I am a humble person after all. But, then, I started thinking. Don't I deserve to be called Haji. It is not a title given by another human (like Dato' or Tan Sri or whatever). It is a title I earned (deservedly or not is up to Allah swt), by performing that which was obligated upon me as a muslim. And my heart warms to every time I hear somebody calls me Tuan Haji. So I am caught between wanting to tell people that I have performed the Hajj, thus, I would like it very much to be have the title Haji before my name, and not wanting people to think that I am boastful and proud. Of course, along with me and my wife and 90 other people that were on the same pilgrimage package, there were also, at least, 2 million other people from all over the world performed their Hajj this year. But, to me it is a big deal. To me, it is a major life achieve...

Sometimes, after prayers, I would contemplate my life while still sitting upon my prayer mat. And, once in a while, like this morning, I had (another) epiphany. Thinking about my future, about what I wish I should be doing after I retire, I realized, that while I am dreaming of the future, what I am yearning for is really the past. Because all the things I want to do.... are really the things I used to do, a long long time ago.. I remember those good old days (they are always " good old days" in retrospect), when I would live my life on a whim. Back from school, I would have my lunch, change and then, whenever I feel like it, off I go on my bicycle to see a movie. I love science fiction (saw Star Wars IV 6 times), or I would take in a Kung Fu movie or if I am in a melancholy mood, I go to watch "Sofie's Choice" or "Terms of Endearment" or "Out of Africa" (yes I have a crush on Meryl Streep) and even occasionally, I watch a love story... ...

Dearest Allah swt, I want to thank you (although, somehow with you, the word "thank" seem so minuscule and grossly insufficient) for letting me see through another Ramadhan. I don't know what you make of this Ramadhan for me, but I actually feel this time was better than the last. But, I now seek you forgiveness because the reason this Ramadhan is better than the last, is because the last one was "crap" (for lack of a better word). During the the last one, I did not read the Quran and missed many tarawikh prayers. This time, praise be upon You, I took time to do some reading, although, I have just finished juzu' 10 (pathetic, I know, Ya Allah.... please accept it). And, this Ramadhan I only missed one night of tarrawikh, but please forgive me my Lord, I had to send my son back to his hostel (bad excuse, I know). The one (of many things) thing that I have yet to achieve is to do tahajjud, Ya Allah. This is a heavy task for me. For, sleep is one of the...

An old man and his young son was walking home from the market, pulling behind them a donkey, which they just purchased. They passed by a group of men who chided them for not riding the donkey. Having heard them, the boy told his father to get on, as he continued on foot pulling the donkey along. Then they came upon another group of men and they heard these men commenting on what a bad parent the old man is letting his poor son walked while he rode the donkey. So, the old man changed places with his son. Then they passed another group of men and they scolded the boy for being an ungrateful son, letting his old father walked while he rode the donkey. The old man sighed and not wanting to subject his son to more insults, he got on the donkey, together with the son.... Then, they passed by yet another group, and these men shook their heads in dismay and said, "Poor donkey.... have they no consideration for the poor animal?". So, the both got down from the donkey and wal...

And thus begin a new era in Malaysian history.... At least I hope so. In the last election, the swing votes were the Indians, this time around, it's the Chinese. But, overall, BN lost a few more battles than they did in the last election, but still ended up winning the war. This does not bode well with the opposition, the smell conspiracies and misconducts are ripe in the post election air. Black outs and Banglas, misplaced and magically appearing ballot boxes become topics on social media. We'll continue to hear all this for the next month or year. Maybe police reports will be made, maybe somebody will sue the Election Commission. Whether action will be taken..... we'll have to wait and see. It is sad and very frustrating when you sincerely believed you could have won. And, you question every marginal losses. Pakatan Rakyat will continue to highlight the slim losses in Trengganu and Perak, and BN will wonder about places like Lembah Pantai and Selangor has now beco...

I want a government that put the needs of the people first. In the past UMNO and corruption is synonymous. People join UMNO and vie for state and parliamentary seats to have powers to control the business in their area, to fill their own pockets. This perception has become so deep-rooted that  to reverse the people's thinking isn't easy. No matter what BN does, suspicions will be attached to it. Every contract awarded, every law enforced, every appearance made at any functions. Every bad rumour is true, every good one is ..... just rumours. Ministers (including the Prime Minister) are expected to be humble people. They are government servants. They or their wives are not supposed to be shopping like the WAGs of professional sportsmen. They should not be be seen in a high fashion, expensive brands shops. In Kelantan, you can say anything about Tuan Guru Nik Aziz. He can say the silliest things, but his humble demeanour wins the hearts of the people of Kelantan every time...

I really cannot comprehend why there are people who are willing to do the same thing over and over again for years... decades even. In my place of work, I have retiring staff who have worked here since they left school over three decades ago. It is the security I suppose, of an employer who will pay you diligently at the end of every month, and an assured bonus before Eidul Fitri and the end of the year, regardless of whether you actually did any work during the year. I think I have mentioned in one of my previous posts that this place is a utopia of employment. A dream job. But, if the nicest dream becomes tiresome when it is just a repetition, and you know how the story ends and then begin again. It is a lovely Monday today. The morning was misty, the traffic was flowing smoothly, had breakfast and somebody paid for it. But, a Monday nonetheless. And as soon as I got into my company car, I see my future and suddenly, my spirit becomes unwilling, my flesh becomes weak. Even b...

The thing I hate most about dealing with people is that they look but do not see, they hear but do not listen. And, I am one who hates repetition, yet when dealing with humans, you need to say things a few times, and perhaps in different ways before they can understand. I get stressed up... and thus, as much as I can I avoid confrontations. But, like the old saying, when you point one finger in the other direction, three are actually pointed right back at you... and if you point with your thumb, then four fingers are accusing you of the same things you are saying about someone else. I have been listening to Anthony Robbins, and at almost every pause he makes as he talks, I would be saying to myself... "I knew that.... I knew that...". Robbins said we must write out a blueprint for our lives. In our part of the world we call the drawings that represent the building we are about to build a "plan". But, for Americans, these are called blueprints. So, when Tony ...

I have just heard part one of Anthony Robbins' Ultimate Edge (free trial version) and I must admit I am inspired. Maybe it's his voice and the passionate way he delivers his talk, but I am motivated to make changes in my life, now.  I am determined to follow the foot steps of people who overcame life's best (worst) shots to be recognized as the masters i their field of interest. Tony Robbins told about J.K. Rowling's miserable life, having been badly treated by the people around her, living in her car and on welfare, rejected by publishers before becoming a billionaire. Robbins also mentioned how Stephen Hawking was devastated to be diagnosed with ALS , yet went on to write numerous books and is today considered the greatest Physicist since Einstein. However, it was while listening to these stories that I realized .... I am embarrassed to be seen buying or reading self-help or motivational books. I do have in my collection Steven Covey's "7 habits...

There are days when you just can't get started. Today is one of them... and the older I get, these non-starting days are occurring more frequently. I know this day will be an almost zero-productivity day for me, when I woke up this morning and the first thing that crossed my mind is "I'm going to get-off early today..." True enough, I spent today with minimal sense of achievement and instead of starting on a new project assigned to me by my boss, I wrote this blog. I do not have anything particular to write about. The news and social media is filled with updates and comments about the assault on Tanduo. Prior to this, the political parties supporters are flinging mud at each other in the build up to the coming general elections which nobody knows when. I hope nobody will comment to say things like, "count your blessings" or "be thankful". Please don't... today, I want to wallow in this quicksand of depression. Today, I want to whine about...

Tree of Life?... Near Tanjung Emas, Muar, Johor Somebody said (nobody can tell me exactly who) that to keep doing the same thing but expecting different results is madness. Everybody knows that but nobody bothers to change, and hope that the goodness of their hearts and their charitable deeds are recognised by God and God will reciprocate with granting them good fortune. Count your blessings, they say, which actually means be satisfied with what you have. But, at the same time everybody knows that the only constant in life is change. Even if you do not want to change, things happen around you will force you to make adjustments. We are never tired of speaking of the good old days when we say things were cheaper, life was simpler. That is just a perception because, as humans we cannot help ourselves but to compare and imagine that the comparison is absolute. Compared to today we imagined that we were happier "in the old days" than we are now. Yet we forget that we compl...