Monday, January 16, 2012

Hoping It won't Drag(0n)...

Feng Shui wise, I am in for a turbulent year. The coming Chinese new year is the year of the Water Dragon and me being a wood dragon born in the month of the water dog on the day of the horse in the hour of the rat, will have terrible luck next year. In fact, I did a whole life cycle forecast and it seems that my luck will only change when the stars are in my favor when I am 120 years old..... I can't wait.

This is the my 4th cycle of the zodiac. For the uninitiated, the Chinese Zodiac has twelve animals in it. They are Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog & Pig (source: wikipedia.... where else).

Ok, enough of that. I actually have a lot of hope for this year. I need to have this year to be a good year. According to this website I was using to assess my luck (using a fake name) I have to find a good Chinese name for myself to change my luck. I was thinking Alan Tam, or Donnie Yen... Or Jackie Chan. I'll give it a good thought.

What I've decided to do this year is to finish some of the stuff I started to do, some of them 4 or 5 years ago. One of them is this novel I am writing. Actual, two novels, both are crappy.. that I'm sure. One is in Malay and one in English. I will write it in between my Applied Business Research (ABR) Paper... because, ABR is so boring, I need the distraction.

OK. That is the scariest thing I have done today... to actually declare that I will finish something I started. To set a goal... To make a (gulp) commitment.

I should do this more often.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Reflection 2011....

End of week one in the new year. This will be a challenging year, with Afiq, Ija and Aiman sitting for their major school exams, and I will be in my final semester for my MBA course (God willing).

I planned to write this earlier, to look back on the year that's passed.... Which I do not often do since I have decided, somewhere in my life that I will live only in the present. There's too many regrets in my past.

But I decided to do this because Dr. Paul Jambunathan, clinical psychologist on Lite FM said we should, and also to reflect on how each incident affected us.

Ok... 2011 negatives. I can think of only one devastating incident.... the passing of Kak Esah, my beloved sister, on 14 November. How this affects me? Sad of course. But, death puts us in a dilemma of sorts. You want those you love to always be around... at the same time we know for every beginning there must be an end. That's the will of Allah. As for Kak Esah, I believe she's had a wonderful fulfilling life, a loving husband, three successful children, great friends (as evidenced by the number of people at the mosque who turned up for her last rites). I owe her a lot. She put up with me when I was in standard 5 and 6 and during my diploma and my degree days at ITM and paid me allowance. My father spent his last days in her house in Bangsar. I crashed her three month old Proton Saga. I tried to pay her back, but got scolded instead.... she said she was just carrying out her responsibility. Allah bless her soul. I LOVE YOU, KAK ESAH!!

The positives...

Sent Kak Long to college. Happy and sad at the same time. That's how your children make you feel. You want to hang on to them for as long as you can, but you know you will have to let them go and some point. Let them spread their wings.... learn about life, make their own mistakes, feel their own pain and create their own memories.

Went to Kota Kinabalu (without Kak Long, which is a negative). I like KK. I don't know why. But, I must say, staying at Le Meridien helped. Touring and snorkeling at nearby islands and travelling up to the foot of Mount Kinabalu, letting fish nibble at your feet at Sungai Moroli in Kampung Luanti, the canopy walk at Poring.... enjoyed it all.

Got a double increment this year!! Thank you, Brig. Gen. Dato' Ahmad Zahudi... my CEO.

Almost got a 4 flat for my second semester. (Maybe this should be a negative). But, I got the full spectrum of As.. A+ for Financial Management, A for Econs and A- for Marketing. I have resigned that I am destined to never get 4 flat..

Went to Langkawi on Christmas... nice but, KK was better. There were some anxiety when we suddenly realized that we went crazy spending about RM500 on chocolates, and we have surpassed the excess baggage limit set by Tony Fernandez. But, it turned out we didn't have to pay extra.... The highlights for me are the mangrove tour and the Laksa at Teluk Yu.

It was a great year. This year.... I don't know. I forecast stormy weather up ahead. Emotional for sure. High anxiety..... Not only because of the children's exams, but I think Sapiah will continue her position as acting head or perhaps she'll be promoted to be the head of Subang BC. Either way, balancing work and ensuring the kids (the boys, especially) keep their focus on their studies will be one hell of a challenge.

Well, if the world doesn't end this December.... I hope to reflect on this year with more positives....

See you on the other side......