Skip to main content

Not a Midlife Crisis.

The thing I hate most about dealing with people is that they look but do not see, they hear but do not listen.

And, I am one who hates repetition, yet when dealing with humans, you need to say things a few times, and perhaps in different ways before they can understand. I get stressed up... and thus, as much as I can I avoid confrontations.

But, like the old saying, when you point one finger in the other direction, three are actually pointed right back at you... and if you point with your thumb, then four fingers are accusing you of the same things you are saying about someone else.

I have been listening to Anthony Robbins, and at almost every pause he makes as he talks, I would be saying to myself... "I knew that.... I knew that...". Robbins said we must write out a blueprint for our lives. In our part of the world we call the drawings that represent the building we are about to build a "plan". But, for Americans, these are called blueprints. So, when Tony Robbins said to write out your blueprint of life, he was asking for a paragraph or two on how you think your life should be. Well, Mr. Robbins I did that.... ten years ago, and nothing in that piece of paper has come true.

Thus, Mr. Robbins says, my blueprint is the reason for my unhappiness, or dissatisfaction, or frustrations or pain in life. Because, I keep comparing this blueprint to my real life and then, as he puts it "should myself". I will look and the blueprint and say, I should be that, I should have done that, I should be at that level... etc.

On that same piece of paper that I kept for a decade I also wrote; "Faith and Focus".

Maybe, Anthony found this piece of paper and made millions from it, because that is what he is preaching. That is what he is telling me, in his gruff phlegmy voice, for me to change and make all the things in that blueprint of mine to become a reality, is to have faith in myself and focus on my goals.

And, he's spot on... Ever since I wrote that, I lost faith in myself and forgot about my goals, putting blames on things that happened around me, and my business partner; making excuses about having to raise my children and not wanting to burden my wife.

I was also blaming myself, to placate myself, to say I am responsible for my actions, saying that I am not a salesman, this is not natural to me... I can't take rejections.... etc.,etc,.etc.

Again, all these are repeated to me by Mr. Robbins. He said, when things do not go according to the blueprint you will blame three things: an event, a person and yourself.

And, I keep saying... I knew that, I knew that...

Of course, I am not saying my life is miserable. There are things in my life that I am very happy with and Mr. Robbins say these are the things in my life that match my blueprint. Of course, I did not write these things down. My blueprint only lists out the gaps in my life not the things I have acquired or gained or achieved.

But, to continue to have some dissatisfaction with certain aspects of your life is natural. Anthony Robbins lists out 6 things that we need in life and thus the reasons that we will always be wishing for something more:

1) the desire for certainty in life
2) the desire for variety in life
3) the desire to be significant
4) the desire for connection/relationship/love
5) the desire to continue to grow and improve ourselves
6) the desire to contribute

That made a lot of sense. Special attention to numbers 5 and 6, which should be a continuous process for as long as we live.

So, to my friends out there (a special shout to my emba15a alumni) who think that they are going through midlife crisis.... Don't worry about it, you are just thriving to live out your blueprint.

Keep at it!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A letter from my mother

Today, on the first day of Ramadhan in the 52nd year of my life, while I was rummaging through some old stuff, I came across a letter written to me by my mother, folded and enveloped into a prescription drug package. My mother taught herself to write in Rumi, so some words are quite difficult to figure out. She was probably more comfortable writing in Jawi, but she knew her son is useless at reading it. The letter was not dated, but I would say it was written circa 1985, the year that I dropped out of UTM. The letter was an angry letter, as angry as my dearest mother would be. I cannot remember the occasion that warranted such letter, but I think I must have said something that hurt her. She wrote that I should have told her or father (unlikely) or my brothers and sisters that I am having difficulties in my studies. She wrote that I have ostracized myself from my family, and she understood that I did this because I do not want to be any more a burden to my parents and my sibli

Humanity: from the lucid mind of a Covid19 infested person.

 Hello... It's me, again. I don't know how anybody is going to read this, because I have deactivated my Facebook account... my Instagram too. It's interesting to see people's reactions when I told them this. Mostly, it's a sharp intake of breath and a sympathetic "why".  I guess they assumed I was cyberbullied into deactivation. No... It was a mistake. I should never have even registered for any socmed (social media for those uninitiated). I hate it, people sharing their lives, what they eat and drink and where they were eating and drinking, how far they have walked or run or cycled, with whom they are doing things, who they met today or yesterday, where they are now in the world, what their cute babies or cats are doing, what plants they are planting, what fruits they have harvested... I don't really want to know about what you guys are doing with your lives unless I am responsible (partly) for bringing you into this horrible place. For that, my child

I love/hate MCO

The vaccines are here... spelling the beginning of the end of Covid19... or at least we hope so. But, it is really just hope upon hope. Because, as vaccines are being spread (by health workers) in most parts of the world, we still hear of lockdowns happening here and there. And the virus is mutating. New strains are being discovered, having higher infectivity. I guess Covid wants to live just like any other living creature. My employer has announced that beginning this month (April 2021) everybody must come to work in the office. No more working from home. Which is OK. I mean (in case my boss reads this blog) I love my job but dread going through the traffic jams in the morning and then again in the evening. I miss the easy smooth drive to and from work during the MCO when I had to come to the office to sign some physical documents, but even during the CMCO and RMCO, when we are allowed to move around a bit more, the traffic build-up at roadblocks gave me a glimpse of things to come wh