Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Not a Midlife Crisis.

The thing I hate most about dealing with people is that they look but do not see, they hear but do not listen.

And, I am one who hates repetition, yet when dealing with humans, you need to say things a few times, and perhaps in different ways before they can understand. I get stressed up... and thus, as much as I can I avoid confrontations.

But, like the old saying, when you point one finger in the other direction, three are actually pointed right back at you... and if you point with your thumb, then four fingers are accusing you of the same things you are saying about someone else.

I have been listening to Anthony Robbins, and at almost every pause he makes as he talks, I would be saying to myself... "I knew that.... I knew that...". Robbins said we must write out a blueprint for our lives. In our part of the world we call the drawings that represent the building we are about to build a "plan". But, for Americans, these are called blueprints. So, when Tony Robbins said to write out your blueprint of life, he was asking for a paragraph or two on how you think your life should be. Well, Mr. Robbins I did that.... ten years ago, and nothing in that piece of paper has come true.

Thus, Mr. Robbins says, my blueprint is the reason for my unhappiness, or dissatisfaction, or frustrations or pain in life. Because, I keep comparing this blueprint to my real life and then, as he puts it "should myself". I will look and the blueprint and say, I should be that, I should have done that, I should be at that level... etc.

On that same piece of paper that I kept for a decade I also wrote; "Faith and Focus".

Maybe, Anthony found this piece of paper and made millions from it, because that is what he is preaching. That is what he is telling me, in his gruff phlegmy voice, for me to change and make all the things in that blueprint of mine to become a reality, is to have faith in myself and focus on my goals.

And, he's spot on... Ever since I wrote that, I lost faith in myself and forgot about my goals, putting blames on things that happened around me, and my business partner; making excuses about having to raise my children and not wanting to burden my wife.

I was also blaming myself, to placate myself, to say I am responsible for my actions, saying that I am not a salesman, this is not natural to me... I can't take rejections.... etc.,etc,.etc.

Again, all these are repeated to me by Mr. Robbins. He said, when things do not go according to the blueprint you will blame three things: an event, a person and yourself.

And, I keep saying... I knew that, I knew that...

Of course, I am not saying my life is miserable. There are things in my life that I am very happy with and Mr. Robbins say these are the things in my life that match my blueprint. Of course, I did not write these things down. My blueprint only lists out the gaps in my life not the things I have acquired or gained or achieved.

But, to continue to have some dissatisfaction with certain aspects of your life is natural. Anthony Robbins lists out 6 things that we need in life and thus the reasons that we will always be wishing for something more:

1) the desire for certainty in life
2) the desire for variety in life
3) the desire to be significant
4) the desire for connection/relationship/love
5) the desire to continue to grow and improve ourselves
6) the desire to contribute

That made a lot of sense. Special attention to numbers 5 and 6, which should be a continuous process for as long as we live.

So, to my friends out there (a special shout to my emba15a alumni) who think that they are going through midlife crisis.... Don't worry about it, you are just thriving to live out your blueprint.

Keep at it!!

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