Skip to main content

Looking for Sympathy

It's one of life's ironies, I suppose. We keep declaring to people that we are not looking or sympathies. Because, we.. rather... I am a proud person and sympathies makes me look pathetic.

Yet, I cannot help but feel a little frustrated when I tell my friends and family, that I am not well, and they just seem to say in their expressions, "Ok... is that all... "

I, in my attempt not to worry my family, tried to keep the condition of my failing kidneys a secret. But, somehow, somebody heard that, of late, I have been visiting the Sime Darby Medical Center regularly.

So, I told them about my non-functioning left kidney and impaired right kidneys. I was expecting a "ooo... kesiannya..." or something like that..but instead was informed that my elder brother's kidneys have shrunk a long time ago, that he's supposed to be on dialysis already, but he refused.

Well, I am concerned of course about my condition, and it is in the back in my mind all the time that, I am very conscious of what I eat these days. Even, my essential morning teh tarik I can't finish... Half a glass and I thought I felt a little tingle in my back...

I told my children and my son said he'll give me one of his kidneys if I buy him the latest game console, and my daughter said she'll give hers if I buy her a smart phone... All in jest.. and I laughed, too.

But, sometimes, I wish somebody would say, "I am sorry to hear that. I pray to Allah, for your health."

Yes... as much as i hate to admit it.. I am looking for sympathies.

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired... I know right now you don't care... - Matchbox 20: Unwell

Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear sam, i dont know that u had health problem. im so sorry to hear that but may Allah give u a good health in future. take care ya

    ReplyDelete
  3. Uncle, this posting surprised me! Did not know that u have a health problem. Huhuhu....May Allah grants your speedy recovery uncle.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A letter from my mother

Today, on the first day of Ramadhan in the 52nd year of my life, while I was rummaging through some old stuff, I came across a letter written to me by my mother, folded and enveloped into a prescription drug package. My mother taught herself to write in Rumi, so some words are quite difficult to figure out. She was probably more comfortable writing in Jawi, but she knew her son is useless at reading it. The letter was not dated, but I would say it was written circa 1985, the year that I dropped out of UTM. The letter was an angry letter, as angry as my dearest mother would be. I cannot remember the occasion that warranted such letter, but I think I must have said something that hurt her. She wrote that I should have told her or father (unlikely) or my brothers and sisters that I am having difficulties in my studies. She wrote that I have ostracized myself from my family, and she understood that I did this because I do not want to be any more a burden to my parents and my sibli

Humanity: from the lucid mind of a Covid19 infested person.

 Hello... It's me, again. I don't know how anybody is going to read this, because I have deactivated my Facebook account... my Instagram too. It's interesting to see people's reactions when I told them this. Mostly, it's a sharp intake of breath and a sympathetic "why".  I guess they assumed I was cyberbullied into deactivation. No... It was a mistake. I should never have even registered for any socmed (social media for those uninitiated). I hate it, people sharing their lives, what they eat and drink and where they were eating and drinking, how far they have walked or run or cycled, with whom they are doing things, who they met today or yesterday, where they are now in the world, what their cute babies or cats are doing, what plants they are planting, what fruits they have harvested... I don't really want to know about what you guys are doing with your lives unless I am responsible (partly) for bringing you into this horrible place. For that, my child

I love/hate MCO

The vaccines are here... spelling the beginning of the end of Covid19... or at least we hope so. But, it is really just hope upon hope. Because, as vaccines are being spread (by health workers) in most parts of the world, we still hear of lockdowns happening here and there. And the virus is mutating. New strains are being discovered, having higher infectivity. I guess Covid wants to live just like any other living creature. My employer has announced that beginning this month (April 2021) everybody must come to work in the office. No more working from home. Which is OK. I mean (in case my boss reads this blog) I love my job but dread going through the traffic jams in the morning and then again in the evening. I miss the easy smooth drive to and from work during the MCO when I had to come to the office to sign some physical documents, but even during the CMCO and RMCO, when we are allowed to move around a bit more, the traffic build-up at roadblocks gave me a glimpse of things to come wh