He's not crazy, he just don't care....

Heart's Desire by Safia El-Shams

There's a guy who spends his days walking up and down the road that in front of my office building. Some days, in the mornings especially, he would greet me and asks me for some money. Some days, I oblige, other days, I just shake my open palms at him. I find him annoying because when I open my wallet to give him RM2 he would up his ante and ask for RM5. Sometimes, he even goes up to RM10. But, I never give him more than RM5. After which, he would get a stick of smoke from the mamak shop, then sit at a table with some unfortunate stranger. Unfortunate because, he hardly bathes.

My office mates said that he wasn't always like that. He used to help his mother at her food stall somewhere in the area. He started wandering up and down the this street after his mother died. He has no brothers or sisters, his father ran out on them a long time ago.... so now he has no one... nobody to tell him what to do.

There are days when he would totally ignore me. Walks past me, like we never met before, when just a few hours ago he greeted like we were long lost friends.

I would not categorize him as "orang gila". He just lost some self-consciousness. He is not aware of how he smells or what people think of him. At least, that's what I thought. I had hypothesize that, crazy are people who have lost their self-consciousness at various degrees.

Today, he surprised me. As I was sitting in Haslam, he approached me and slapped my table lightly, sat down and in a low tone asked me something. It was noisy, with oldies music blaring from the radio near the cashier. But, what I could make out was that he was asking me the name of a girl. I said I don't know. And he mumbled on. Then, he touched me and asked me if the girls in this area can be flirted with..... How am I supposed to answer that. Do I look like a pimp? I just smile and turn back to continue reading my newspaper. He went on rambling for a while. Then, finally, he thanked me, like I've given him the best advice ever, and left. He did not ask for money, or bummed me for a cigarette, or asked me to buy him his usual teh-o ais.

He left the table.... and left me wondering what's that all about.....

Well, he maybe he doesn't care.... but, everybody has desires.

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