Paradox of the day: I successfully failed in life.

“You are the same today that you are going to be in five years from now except for two things: the people with whom you associate and the books you read.” Charles Jones.

I remember the first time I read this quote, emblazoned high on one wall of a training room. It was an orientation session for new agents.... unit trust agents. I quit my job a couple of months earlier, after reading Robert T. Kiyosaki's book Rich Dad Poor Dad, and the thing that got stuck in my brain from that book is that you are at risk when you are employed. You are at the mercy of the business owner... your employer. He can choose to retain you or get rid of you as he pleases. He may just decide to fire you because he doesn't like the way you look at him....

The business owner, as I understood from the book, is less at risk as he is the master of his own destiny. His is in charge of the business and therefore, the success or failure is his own doing or undoing.

So I quit my job, and explored every avenue that may lead me to be an entrepreneur.

I failed, miserably.

Looking back, I now question my motives for quitting gainful employment. maybe, I was tired of taking orders. There always somebody telling you what to do. Now I know, you can't get away from that. You will always have that obligation to fulfill somebody else's wishes.

But, for now, I have decided to attribute my failure to one major factor.... I don't really know what I want. That's the key, to know what you want out of life. If you don't know what you want, then you have achieved your goal in life.

Hmm... that makes me a success then....

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A letter from my mother

Today, on the first day of Ramadhan in the 52nd year of my life, while I was rummaging through some old stuff, I came across a letter written to me by my mother, folded and enveloped into a prescription drug package. My mother taught herself to write in Rumi, so some words are quite difficult to figure out. She was probably more comfortable writing in Jawi, but she knew her son is useless at reading it. The letter was not dated, but I would say it was written circa 1985, the year that I dropped out of UTM. The letter was an angry letter, as angry as my dearest mother would be. I cannot remember the occasion that warranted such letter, but I think I must have said something that hurt her. She wrote that I should have told her or father (unlikely) or my brothers and sisters that I am having difficulties in my studies. She wrote that I have ostracized myself from my family, and she understood that I did this because I do not want to be any more a burden to my parents and my sibli

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Life's Remains....

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