Friday, September 11, 2009

The Wind and the Sun

My mother told me that my name means the Sun. And, she bought me a book of Aesop fables and, though I love all the stories with its moralities, I can’t help but become attached to the story of the wind and the sun.

Thereafter, somewhere in the beginning of my life, I made the unconscious decision to adopt the sun’s virtue in making people to do things. And, today I can’t do it otherwise.

Throughout my life, people around me tell me to be more aggressive. They say I am too soft. Some adults say that I’ll never survive in the real world, if I continue to let certain things go... not get back at those who have put me down or bullied me.
Maybe it is the result of people constantly telling me that I am soft and indecisive that has made me soft and indecisive... Maybe this sun attitude as opposed to the wind attitude is just my way of consoling myself.
I don’t know. Perhaps, I am too much like my mother. My father is very assertive and will tell people exactly what’s on his mind. My mother tended to accept things. Most women in those times had to, I suppose.

But I get things done. I just do not like to dwell on what has happened and concentrate what we can do to correct the situation. Punishment? I will try to avoid that, too. Simply because, when something goes wrong, the further you dig into it, the more you will see that it cannot be attributed to just one person....

It the nature of human beings, I supposed, that one is very rarely complimented for a good deed, but, make one error, you will receive advice you never asked for, from so many “experts”. I’ve had a fair share of these advices, and from my experience none of them is useable.

So I don’t give advice, unless asked to.

Call it whatever you want, a low self esteem, lack of self confidence, not assertive, reserved, conservative..... I am what I am....

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