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Things unsaid

Today, my son got married.

As relatives and friends congratulated me for gaining a daughter-in-law, my feelings are mixed. But, looking at him sitting on the dais with his new wife, I can't help but felt a loss. Or, more precisely, a feeling of losing him too soon. Suddenly, I felt that I haven't given him all he deserves from a father. I just felt I should have given him more... More love, more advice, more annoying anecdotes about life, more dad jokes. In spite of the brave front that I was showing... I am not sure I was ready to let him go. Not that he's going anywhere... but, I am no longer his sole source of fatherly love, fatherly advice, and fatherly embarrassments. Suddenly, I remember how he liked to push a plastic chair on the front porch when he was a toddler and his laughter at the sound it made. I remember him singing you are my sunshine while pooping when he comes home from kindergarten. I remember him begging us to take him to the beach in Langkawi because he wants to "diyut" ... mandi laut...

He belongs to others... he has another family. 

I love you, Afiq. Good luck on your new journey... I pray you and Aika will have the happiest times of your new lives. 

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