Not Doing Nothing

I have been on compassionate leave since Wednesday (Kak Long was hospitalised with acute gastric, but she getting better now). Although, the first and second day I was busy ferrying people and stuff to and from the hospital, but the third day (since Kak Long was discharged late Thursday afternoon) I woke up in the morning and wish I was going to work.

But, my wife said since I'm entitled to the three day compassionate leave, why not take it all.

Every weekday, I wake up and count the days to the weekend. And Sunday evenings, I dread to think that I have to go to work in the morning.

But, today, I get a glimpse of what happens the very next day after my retirement. I woke up in the morning and find that I have no goal for the day. On weekdays, the goal is to get through the day. The work that I do, monitoring my staff's work, signing checks, making decisions... I take for granted. And I dread doing it, and worst still when I realize that I have to do it all over again tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

But, once I stop doing that..... my life have no purpose. I mean, I can only look forward to.... what? Sleep all day? Watch TV? Play computer games? Ok... what about tomorrow? More sleep? More TV? More games......

So today, I ended up cleaning the house.....

But, I know now that, while I often dream of doing nothing and earning a lot... I really have to do something.

I need to plan from now, for retirement.....

Comments

A letter from my mother

Today, on the first day of Ramadhan in the 52nd year of my life, while I was rummaging through some old stuff, I came across a letter written to me by my mother, folded and enveloped into a prescription drug package. My mother taught herself to write in Rumi, so some words are quite difficult to figure out. She was probably more comfortable writing in Jawi, but she knew her son is useless at reading it. The letter was not dated, but I would say it was written circa 1985, the year that I dropped out of UTM. The letter was an angry letter, as angry as my dearest mother would be. I cannot remember the occasion that warranted such letter, but I think I must have said something that hurt her. She wrote that I should have told her or father (unlikely) or my brothers and sisters that I am having difficulties in my studies. She wrote that I have ostracized myself from my family, and she understood that I did this because I do not want to be any more a burden to my parents and my sibli

Humanity: from the lucid mind of a Covid19 infested person.

Hello... It's me, again. I don't know how anybody is going to read this, because I have deactivated my Facebook account... my Instagram too. It's interesting to see people's reactions when I told them this. Mostly, it's a sharp intake of breath and a sympathetic "why". I guess they assumed I was cyberbullied into deactivation. No... It was a mistake. I should never have even registered for any socmed (social media for those uninitiated). I hate it, people sharing their lives, what they eat and drink and where they were eating and drinking, how far they have walked or run or cycled, with whom they are doing things, who they met today or yesterday, where they are now in the world, what their cute babies or cats are doing, what plants they are planting, what fruits they have harvested... I don't really want to know about what you guys are doing with your lives unless I am responsible (partly) for bringing you into this horrible place. For that, my child

I love/hate MCO

The vaccines are here... spelling the beginning of the end of Covid19... or at least we hope so. But, it is really just hope upon hope. Because, as vaccines are being spread (by health workers) in most parts of the world, we still hear of lockdowns happening here and there. And the virus is mutating. New strains are being discovered, having higher infectivity. I guess Covid wants to live just like any other living creature. My employer has announced that beginning this month (April 2021) everybody must come to work in the office. No more working from home. Which is OK. I mean (in case my boss reads this blog) I love my job but dread going through the traffic jams in the morning and then again in the evening. I miss the easy smooth drive to and from work during the MCO when I had to come to the office to sign some physical documents, but even during the CMCO and RMCO, when we are allowed to move around a bit more, the traffic build-up at roadblocks gave me a glimpse of things to come wh

Life's Remains....

Search This Blog