Pride and Prejudice.... and Pilgrimage....

Today my secretary asked if she should start putting Haji before my name on the letters that I sign. I said, no... out of humility. I am a humble person after all.

But, then, I started thinking. Don't I deserve to be called Haji. It is not a title given by another human (like Dato' or Tan Sri or whatever). It is a title I earned (deservedly or not is up to Allah swt), by performing that which was obligated upon me as a muslim. And my heart warms to every time I hear somebody calls me Tuan Haji.

So I am caught between wanting to tell people that I have performed the Hajj, thus, I would like it very much to be have the title Haji before my name, and not wanting people to think that I am boastful and proud.

Of course, along with me and my wife and 90 other people that were on the same pilgrimage package, there were also, at least, 2 million other people from all over the world performed their Hajj this year.

But, to me it is a big deal. To me, it is a major life achievement that I have completed all 5 pillars Islam. Again, whether all the Solah, the Fasting in Ramadhan and the payment of Zakat, is acceptable to Allah, is a matter I will not worry about, for it is entirely in His hands... as are our very soul.

And the Hajj, for me, was a wonderful and sobering experience. It was a time to contemplate our previous lives and to begin a new one. It was the time and place to be thankful, to seek forgiveness, to gain strength, to cleanse your soul, to make changes. It was a chance to put your feet and your forehead in prayers, on the very ground that our Prophet once stood, where he once lived and fought us, his ummah.

Perhaps, that is what I need. I need to tell my friends that I am transforming myself. And, that, most importantly, by having the Haji before my name, is a self reminder of the resolutions I made, which I intend to keep.

Perhaps, I should tell my secretary to put the Haji before my name..... or not... I don't know...

Yours truly,

Haji Shamsuddin bin Haji Jaafar.

Class of 1434 Hijriah

Comments

Pak Mat Beca

I started school in 1971. I went to Sekolah Ismail (Dua), as far as I am concerned the only primary school in the whole universe and every kid must go there or the government will put their parents away forever. The "Dua" or Two (2), does not mean there were two Sekolah Ismails. There was only one, except that there were two sessions, morning and afternoon. When I started in standard one, I was in the morning session. Apparently, somehow, the two Ismails alternate, and I really can't recall ever having to go to school in the afternoon. Every morning, my cousin, the late Hashimah Hashim (Allah bless her soul), and I would wait for Pak Mat to pick us up in his beca, his trishaw. And, until I changed school in 1976 (that's another story to tell), Pak Mat and his beca would take me to school every school day. I know of no other way to go to school and I did not really appreciate the distance that Pak Mat had to cycle to pick us up and send us to our respective s...

The road to hell is paved with good intents....

Once there was a man who all his life have nothing but good intentions. But, everybody in his village said that he was the devil. He robbed and maimed. He killed and destroyed. When he was caught and brought to justice, his defense was that he was only trying to feed his family. When he was growing up, he was not good at school. The teachers all say he was hopeless, his father thought he was an embarrassment, his siblings thought he was a burden, society keep reminding him that the world would be a better place if he wasn't in it. Only his mother saw him differently. Only his mother loved him because he was her son.... and for no other reason. And later, he met the woman of his dreams and married her and had beautiful children and he vowed that they will never ever go through life as he did. He swore on his life, that he will do anything to ensure his children go the best schools, eat the best foods, wear the best clothes, grow up to have the best jobs, to be whatever they as...

For the Love of God

Someone told me a joke about a man who had just bought a car. It was his first car and, not wanting to have even a scratch on it, he took it to a hindu temple, a buddhist temple, a church and a mosque. At the hindu temple, the hindu priest chanted mantras over the car and tied a red string around the car's right wing mirror. The buddhist monk sprinkled the car with water after chanting traditional mantras and then a white string was tied to the left wing mirror. The christian priest blessed the car with holy water and gave the driver a cross to hang from the rear view mirror. At the mosque, the imam was astounded since nobody ever asked to bless a car before. So after a recitation of selected verses from the Qur'an, he took a hacksaw and promptly cut the tip off the car's exhaust pipe..... to circumcise it. When I first heard this story, I thought the new car owner was an atheist, albeit a superstitious one. This man, I had deduced, did not really believe in the existence o...

Life's Remains....

Search This Blog