Past revaluations

Sometimes, after prayers, I would contemplate my life while still sitting upon my prayer mat. And, once in a while, like this morning, I had (another) epiphany.

Thinking about my future, about what I wish I should be doing after I retire, I realized, that while I am dreaming of the future, what I am yearning for is really the past. Because all the things I want to do.... are really the things I used to do, a long long time ago..

I remember those good old days (they are always "good old days" in retrospect), when I would live my life on a whim. Back from school, I would have my lunch, change and then, whenever I feel like it, off I go on my bicycle to see a movie. I love science fiction (saw Star Wars IV 6 times), or I would take in a Kung Fu movie or if I am in a melancholy mood, I go to watch "Sofie's Choice" or "Terms of Endearment" or "Out of Africa" (yes I have a crush on Meryl Streep) and even occasionally, I watch a love story... "Goodbye Girl" (Richard Dreyfuss and Marsha Mason) was the most memorable one for me.

Or, I would just go to the riverside to have a "Rojak Mee" under a shady tree looking nothingness, as the wind from the Malacca Straits rustles the leaves and the Muar river flows lazily, lapping the rocks on its banks.

Or, I would just stay home, sit in front of the Hi Fi set, put on a record on the turntable and let the music blast away, ensuring the neighbors know how cultured I am. I love music, and I enjoy all kinds of music. I listen to Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra and Nancy Wilson and Dean Martin, I love the blues (B.B.King), I listen to J. Geils Band (the Freeze Frame album), The Eagles, Bee Gees (the spirit having flown album), I love Linda Ronstadt (I have 5 of her records), locally, I am a fan of Jamal Abdillah, Sheila Majid, I bought Fairuz Hussein debut album, I even like Black Dog Bone, Carefree, Freedom and Sweet Charity. I love S.M.Salim and occassionally listen to P.Ramlee songs (especially, the jazzy ones like Putus Sudah Kasih Sayang and Tunggu Sekejap).

The irony of it all, while these things I did when I was still in school and living off my father's pension (Allah bless his soul), this morning, still seated cross-legged on my prayer mat, I am contemplating the wealth I will need to accumulate within the next few years so that I can do all these things again, after my retirement.....

However, at today's prices, I wonder, is retirement an option? (Sigh...) Better get dressed, I am late for work....

Comments

Pak Mat Beca

I started school in 1971. I went to Sekolah Ismail (Dua), as far as I am concerned the only primary school in the whole universe and every kid must go there or the government will put their parents away forever. The "Dua" or Two (2), does not mean there were two Sekolah Ismails. There was only one, except that there were two sessions, morning and afternoon. When I started in standard one, I was in the morning session. Apparently, somehow, the two Ismails alternate, and I really can't recall ever having to go to school in the afternoon. Every morning, my cousin, the late Hashimah Hashim (Allah bless her soul), and I would wait for Pak Mat to pick us up in his beca, his trishaw. And, until I changed school in 1976 (that's another story to tell), Pak Mat and his beca would take me to school every school day. I know of no other way to go to school and I did not really appreciate the distance that Pak Mat had to cycle to pick us up and send us to our respective s...

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