Skip to main content

May He Find That Which He Seeks....

I once met an old friend. We haven't talked to each other for so long, we found that we no longer have anything in common. We keep lapsing into moments of silence in between topics on the weather, and the high cost of living and politics.

Then, after a long silence, and looking into spaces behind each other, he asked (still looking into nothing) if I believe in God. I said, of course, (duh!).... Do you? I asked, just to carry on the conversation. He, did not answer right away..... 

After, a long pause, so long that I thought he did not hear my reciprocating question. I almost repeated the question, when he blurted out, "I'm not sure".

Before, I continue my recollection, I must clarify that my friend is a Malay man.

He said, that he thinks there is a God, but, he just do not think that there is a heaven or hell. He said, if he's been good all his life, if he is not adulterous, and if he is poor on this earth, why would he want to die and go to heaven and be allowed to be adulterous and "live" in luxury? If he dies, then his flesh will have rotted away, and therefore he will not have the requirements to eat or sleep or procreate or drink wine, all that we do to exist on this earth.

Nor, does he think it's fair that he should be eternally punished for his folly for a limited time in this life.

He is a man of science.. but, he probably have a better knowledge of Islam than me, having studied in "sekolah pondok" in Kelantan.

He talked and talked, and I listened and I thought (but never declared it out loud) that, his arguments made sense....

And when the Azan was heard for our Maghrib prayers, he beckoned me to go to a nearby mosque to pray.

I'm confused. And, it must have shown in my face, because on the way to the mosque, my friend said that, he may not believe in Heaven and Hell, but, he will not take the chance of incurring God's anger. He said, he does not care for Heaven. But, he craves for God's "redha".

He never misses a prayer, because he's afraid of God, yet, he does not believe in everything Islam has taught him.

I find this weird but fascinating....  so much so, he inspired my poem entitled "Ar-Rahman" (see: http://puing-puingkehidupan.blogspot.com/2009/08/ar-rahman.html)

He passed away, last week....

Al-Fatihah...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A letter from my mother

Today, on the first day of Ramadhan in the 52nd year of my life, while I was rummaging through some old stuff, I came across a letter written to me by my mother, folded and enveloped into a prescription drug package. My mother taught herself to write in Rumi, so some words are quite difficult to figure out. She was probably more comfortable writing in Jawi, but she knew her son is useless at reading it. The letter was not dated, but I would say it was written circa 1985, the year that I dropped out of UTM. The letter was an angry letter, as angry as my dearest mother would be. I cannot remember the occasion that warranted such letter, but I think I must have said something that hurt her. She wrote that I should have told her or father (unlikely) or my brothers and sisters that I am having difficulties in my studies. She wrote that I have ostracized myself from my family, and she understood that I did this because I do not want to be any more a burden to my parents and my sibli...
1 comment
Read more

A Marriage

I’ve always shunned the company of humans Yet, there’s a basic need for procreation So I looked and believe I’ve found a woman Just perfect to bear my next generation A decade have passed and seven years From us have sprung a brood of four Many a happy times and many a tears At times I think we should’ve had more Then, there were times when my eyes wander Lusting after distractions, in one form or another To temptations of the flesh I wish to surrender To turn a deaf ear to my conscience’s whispers But, to hurt these people, I don’t fancy I can never hurt my children and wife Thus, my amoral deeds remain a fantasy Maybe I can indulge on it in my after life I love my family don’t get me wrong O, how they’ve grown, my little ones And, I pray this marriage will last my life long But, I swear I’ll not attempt marriage more than once...
2 comments
Read more

Looking for Sympathy

It's one of life's ironies, I suppose. We keep declaring to people that we are not looking or sympathies. Because, we.. rather... I am a proud person and sympathies makes me look pathetic. Yet, I cannot help but feel a little frustrated when I tell my friends and family, that I am not well, and they just seem to say in their expressions, "Ok... is that all... " I, in my attempt not to worry my family, tried to keep the condition of my failing kidneys a secret. But, somehow, somebody heard that, of late, I have been visiting the Sime Darby Medical Center regularly. So, I told them about my non-functioning left kidney and impaired right kidneys. I was expecting a "ooo... kesiannya..." or something like that..but instead was informed that my elder brother's kidneys have shrunk a long time ago, that he's supposed to be on dialysis already, but he refused. Well, I am concerned of course about my condition, and it is in the back in my mind all the time tha...
3 comments
Read more