My Goals - A siloliquy on a Sunday morn

Am I getting closer to my goals..... Not!

There's the rub,

for being gainly employed,

what goals do you hope to achieve?

How wonderful it is, I imagine to have a goal in life

And finding yourself coming closer

to achieving it as each day goes by.

How good it must feel that you wake up in the morning

and you cross yesterday as another rung you have climbed

on your way up the ladder,

bringing you closer to that which you yearn.

What is my goal in life? I know not.

To be wealthy, perhaps... but, that is not a goal.

That is just a dream.

And, like dreams, it dissipates the moment you awake

and join the other goalless men on the highway of life.

Dashing through another day of busying oneself,

more often than not to please others,

your boss, your investors, you financiers..... least of all yourself.

The pleasing of others, a habit so ingrained in me,

that I have become nothing more than a mongrel,

that longs only for a compliment or a pat on the back,

an acknowledgement of my efforts.

A reward bestowed because I have pleased someone.....

Woe is me.

Is there a chance for me? Is it too late in life

for to establish a goal?

And having done so, proceed to achieve it

in whatever remains of my life?

O, how oft at the point of death, do we only seek that we have missed

But, .... I declare now that I have one.

And that is I will finish my first novel

before this year's end....

Easily achieved maybe, no challenge you might say...

but I'll just stick with this one simple task,

At my age, I want not to invite too much pressure upon myself

For, I may not survive the heartache and thousand natural shocks

This weary flesh is heir to.

I've had too much pleasure....

And I will begin...

tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.....

Ah... A malay, a malay...wherefore art thou a Malay....

Comments

Pak Mat Beca

I started school in 1971. I went to Sekolah Ismail (Dua), as far as I am concerned the only primary school in the whole universe and every kid must go there or the government will put their parents away forever. The "Dua" or Two (2), does not mean there were two Sekolah Ismails. There was only one, except that there were two sessions, morning and afternoon. When I started in standard one, I was in the morning session. Apparently, somehow, the two Ismails alternate, and I really can't recall ever having to go to school in the afternoon. Every morning, my cousin, the late Hashimah Hashim (Allah bless her soul), and I would wait for Pak Mat to pick us up in his beca, his trishaw. And, until I changed school in 1976 (that's another story to tell), Pak Mat and his beca would take me to school every school day. I know of no other way to go to school and I did not really appreciate the distance that Pak Mat had to cycle to pick us up and send us to our respective s...

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