Life's Remains....

Today, on the first day of Ramadhan in the 52nd year of my life, while I was rummaging through some old stuff, I came across a letter written to me by my mother, folded and enveloped into a prescription drug package. My mother taught herself to write in Rumi, so some words are quite difficult to figure out. She was probably more comfortable writing in Jawi, but she knew her son is useless at reading it. The letter was not dated, but I would say it was written circa 1985, the year that I dropped out of UTM. The letter was an angry letter, as angry as my dearest mother would be. I cannot remember the occasion that warranted such letter, but I think I must have said something that hurt her. She wrote that I should have told her or father (unlikely) or my brothers and sisters that I am having difficulties in my studies. She wrote that I have ostracized myself from my family, and she understood that I did this because I do not want to be any more a burden to my parents and my sibli...

Not really keen on looking forward for 2016 I think 2015 was my most successful year in my entire life. Which I thought is sad considering I have been living for more than half a century on this earth. I don't really like celebrating new year, because on the first Monday after 1 January, you have to get back to work. And work is usually the same thing it was before you went on leave, either before Christmas or maybe just before the New Year's celebration. So, as far as I am concerned, a New Year is just adding one to whatever number it was that signified the last year. I do want to celebrate last year, though. These are 6 things that I thought were the good stuff that happened last year. Why 6? Well, 6 was all I could think of..... 1) My Dahlia - I struck out one major item on my bucket list: To publish a book. It wasn't very good. But, it prompted me to write a better one this year. So, that I think is good. 2) Venus and Jupiter - It was the most amazing thi...

It's been a month since Dahlia was published.... I would like to thank all my friends who bought and read my debut effort.... Special mentions to those who actually gave My Dahlia kind reviews. I say "kind" because i am sure they've read better written book, but since this is my first, these lovely people was (I feel) very generous in their praise. They are: - My Brother Ahmad Fuad Jaafar,  - My friend Fadzil Nor (the first one to actually read and gave me a review and even bought the ebook via Google Play, thank you so much Fadzil),  - My long lost (but glad we found each other on FB) cousin Zaimi Jismi,  - my wife (mmwah mmwah),  - my MBA brother Sukman   Thank you all. Coming soon.... ok not so soon. A sequel to My Dahlia.... here's and excerpt. Redemption of Sam   I recognize him immediately. Older, but still has that boyish look about him. The goatee gave him a rather pious look. I look away and smile to myself. ...

Since (successfully?) publishing my first book, and sold 25 copies to date.... I have been bombarded by repeated questions which I feel obliged to list and provide the answers to herewith ( with Malay translations ):- Q: What is the book about?   S: Buku ni cerita pasal apa? A: This is a collection of 7 short stories, which is back-dropped by my home town Muar.   J: Cerita merapu yang konon-konon berlaku kat Muor. Q: How did you find time to write? S: Boleh, ek, engko ada masa nak menulis?  A: This book was compiled from a number of writings that I have done over the last decade or so in my spare time.   J: Ada laah, masa boring-boring... Hobi lah katakan. Tapi, lama lah jugak.. sepuloh tahun ada kot. Q: Where did you get your inspirations from? (Actually no one asked me this but I wished they did)   S: Mana engko dapat idea cerita-cerita ni? A: All of the stories have something to do with stories I heard when I was growing up in Muar. We hear ru...

WHAT would you say to your 18 year old self, if you can go back in time? It's just another way to say, I wish I knew then, what I know now. It's just lamenting about the things that should have been... Like Sinatra said, Regrets...? I have a few... Ironically, I fancy that I have a chance to talk to my 18 year old self. He has manifested himself in my son, Afiq. I should not insult him (Forgive me, Afiq). He is at least a few hundred times better than who I was 33 years ago in many ways, except maybe in frivolity. I was frivolous. But, I realise, too, that frivolity is a sign of a person who like to enjoy life. A person who lives in the present and in the now, not wanting to care nor worry about what the future holds. Now that I am the future of my 18 year old self, I feel bound to ensure that my sons (both Afiq and Aiman) will not make the mistakes that I have made. Then, I ask myself, didn't some old guy came to talk to me about not being frivolous? Didn't s...

The life plan of people of my generation was laid out thus; get good grades, get a good job, get married, get children… and hope that your children will remember that you had to get good grade, hold down a good job to get married and raise them. So, they too will need to be sure that they get good grades so they can land a good job, with good pay, so they can give some back to their parents. Filial piety is and has been our culture, and is taught by all religions, but we must stop this vicious circle. So, to all parents, I say, do not burden your children and please be self-sufficient. Do not put pressure on your children. Don’t put them on a guilt trip, repeating the overused phrase of “One mother can raise 10 children, but 10 children cannot take care of one mother” . That’s unfair. Those children have children to take care, too. That mother who raised 10 children lived in a different time than the 10 children. If you children do remember you, and take very good care of yo...

Here is something I learned from Kak Long. After her SPM, she was still undecided of what she was going to do. I was worried when she finally decided she wants to study medicine. I was worried, not because I doubted her abilities, but I was afraid that she had chosen that field because we (my wife, my mother-in-law and I) thought that she should be a doctor. Later, Kak Long told me, the real reason she chose medicine, was that; looking at the subjects she has to take, she thought she can handle those in medicine, rather than learning physics and add maths. I laughed, and commended her. I liked the practicality of her answer, rather than a naive but noble ones like, I want to find a cure for cancer. Well, maybe she will. Thus far she's been doing well. She has her priority straight, I guess. Which is something prevalent only in the women of our family.  The men folk are frivolous, and only seek instant gratification. Ok, maybe I just described 95% of all men on earth, but, it ...