Life's Remains....

While a friend and I was discussing... or rather "kutuk"ing the new proton Inspira for obvious reasons, it suddenly occurred to me how similar the fortunes of Proton and the Malays are. Due to fears of not being able to compete, Proton was protected by the government via exorbitant tax on other car manufacturer that it lulled Proton to think that the rakyat really love this "local" product. Proton thinks it was a leader in the market and to a certain extent believed that it is its birthright to be there by virtue of it being a local product. But the protection did not teach Proton to be competitive. The protection taught Proton how to fish in an isolated serene pond, but not when the pond was open to the public. Proton does not know how to deal with the crowd pushing and shoving for the best spot, and found that the other fishermen have more info on the fishes and the environment of the pond than it did, despite "being there first". Kind of like the Malays...

Some people think that since I criticize the government therefore I am supporting the opposition. Just because I do not agree with some of the things our PM said or did, does make me automatically a PKR or PAS or DAP supporter. AND, even if I do agree with what Anwar Ibrahim said or did, does not mean I like him or in any way it means that I do not like our PM. If I do not agree to join a group on facebook which disagree with the building of a 100 storey building in KL, does not mean I like the idea. Or, maybe I should just state clearly where I stand. 1) I don't like Dato' Seri Najib but I think he's doing a fairly good job so far. 2) I don't like Anwar Ibrahim (even when he was DPM, I didn't like him) because he is a good orator, and that's it. I do not think he is a visionary (like Tun Mahathir) so much so that he is trapped twice by the same accusation (sodomy). 3) I think Saiful (the alleged sodomisee) is a walking asshole. If he was sodomised, then I think...

After watching Marlee and Me, I became philosophical. And, that is why I don't watch these movies about love found and lost, especially when it involves animals. But, after finishing my Balanced Scorecard assignment, I don't feel like doing anything. Now lying in my bed... alone... because Sapiah is away on a team building course.. I started thinking about the things I wish I could do but never did anything about it. I wish I could play the guitar, I wish I could play the piano, I wish I played football, I wish I had sat for a professional examination, I wish I was more mature at the time I was youthful and energetic. I wish I had taken a journalism course and become a columnist like the Owen Wilson character in Marlee and Me. Would things be different? Would I be rich? Would I be famous? .... Would I have met Sapiah, and have these children? Would I be living in this neighborhood? I'll never know... But, one thing is for sure.... No more sad movies for me...

Maybe it's me who does not belong in time or space always in the wrong... Maybe it's me being too easy made it difficult For those around me... Maybe it's me who hates to complain forever will I not show my pain... Maybe it's me for all that's said Maybe it's all just in my head.....

I'm compulsive liar. That's the truth... hahaha. Anyway, I do lie. But, most of the times I lie because I am just too lazy to explain if I were to tell the truth. For instance, someone invited me for break fast at a hotel somewhere. I will always try to avoid breaking fast outside because I will miss tarawikh. So, I just tell the non muslim friend, who graciously and thoughtfully invited me to a fancy hotel, that I have to pick up my daughter from tuition. There are no tuition at night during Ramadhan.... But, if I told him honestly that I don't want to go because I don't want to miss tarawikh, he will ask me what tarawikh is. And, I have to explain.... which I don't really feel like doing. He accepted my lie and said... ok we'll do lunch then after Raya. It solved the problem and no one got hurt.... As long as nobody tells him that there are no tuition at night during Ramadhan... Which probably will hurt his feelings.... but, the probability of that is so rem...

I have been feeling a little giddy when I get up after sitting for sometime. Yesterday was the worst. I almost blacked out, when I got up to solat sunat after Isya'. Luckily the guy next to me was an old friend from the days when I did my practical at KPMG. He did not notice my giddiness, but he was glad to see me that he patted me on my back, and that sort of revived me. Before Ramadhan, my blood pressure was 150/90 (sometimes 150/100). Today, even right after I broke my fast, my BP was 121/83.... an unexciting normal in the BP table that comes with the battery operated BP monitor. I am on Cozaar... BP pills that are kidney friendly. I decided not to take them right after break fast, but instead I'll take them after terawikh. That's what I did today and, thank God, less giddiness.... But, I wonder if it's due to the pills or fasting that lowered my BP. Maybe, I should stop taking the pill for a few days...... but my Nephrologist said not to stop... to continue, indef...

My mother-in-law has a habit of stating the obvious. Like she would ask me what day it is, and I say it's Monday, and she would immediately riposte "so tomorrow is Tuesday, then.." or She might ask me, as I was reclining on the sofa watching a football match, who are playing? And I say, Selangor versus Pahang... Then, she'll ask which one is Selangor. And, I would answer, those guys in red. Then, she'll say, so those in yellow are Pahang? Maybe it is how she was brought up. Maybe, she is dogmatic. The world is out to take something from her, one of her possessions. There are thieves amongst us.... trust no one... take nothing for granted... check your facts. It is something quite amusing in the first few years of my married life and while she was living in Singapore and me and Sapiah are living in Subang Jaya. But when we lived under the same roof, it started to get to me. She would ask something, and I would answer then she will retort the obvious. Then, today I ...